Make A Good First Impression


Coaches and Trainers AustraliaSo, you have an event coming up where you know you need to ‘Wow’ them. Is it a job interview for your dream job? Is it the first time you are meeting your future in-laws? Or, perhaps it is a business function where you have been asked to speak? These events are enough to make you go and run and hide under the bed until someone calls “It’s ok, you can come out now!” You know that is not going to happen so had we better find a different strategy.

If you are one that is usually shy, hides behind others, and actively seeks opportunities to not be the centre of attention, you have chosen to do this because in some way it serves you. The question is how? Most probably, it is keeping you safe. Tony Robbins talks about how all people have six core needs that must be met. They are: certainty, uncertainty, significance, love and connection, growth and contribution. Each of us have subconsciously ordered these in order of priority and the decisions we make ensure that our top needs are met. So, now it is time to ask yourself some questions and determine if you are one that has placed the need of certainty at the top of your list. Another way of looking at it is: are you one who actively seeks to maintain security, comfort and consistency in your life?

I could advise you on just saying to yourself things such as ‘you can do it’, ‘I believe in you’, ‘just picture them all in their underwear and with a finger up their nose’ and other such affirmations. This may work temporarily, but it is just a bandaid.

Your core need is still certainty and thus all decisions you make will reflect that. You don’t need to change your number one need, you just want to understand it better. This can be done by reflecting on your beliefs you have about yourself and others.

Take the time to write them down. Perhaps you believe ‘I’m no good around new people.’, ‘I just get all flustered and embarrassed when I need to speak in front of a group.’, ‘I am terrible at selling myself.’ Write down what comes to mind for you.

Next, ask yourself where did these beliefs come from? I can guarantee you were not born with them! At some time in your life there was the very first time you decided this about yourself. Most probably it was before you turned seven years old. During these first seven years is when we experience a great deal for the first time and decide a lot of things for the first time. So, quietly sit back, close your eyes, trust yourself and find that time. Got it! Good!

Now let’s look at it. Perhaps you were forced by your parents to get up in front of all their friends and sing a song, tell silly jokes and say a poem because they all thought you were so cute. Perhaps as you were doing it, it was not quite the way you do it when you were just with mum and dad, so you were told by your parents that you are just not good in front of a group! Perhaps you were constantly compared to an older sibling who ‘always’ did better than you and you were told ‘ why can’t you be as good as ‘Johnny’ at…………’.

In those exact first moments, there is something you told yourself. Perhaps, it was that you are hopeless at being in front of others, or that you are just not good enough. That is exactly the time that this belief was born. Since that time, you have found a string of experiences to reinforce that belief because that is human nature and you already believed it, so you are naturally going to prove yourself right, not wrong. Who is one to argue with themselves!

Now we have analysed that what you have been telling yourself for years is just been something you as young child once told yourself in a time where you really knew no better, we were young and innocent. That belief isn’t true! The truth can be whatever you want it to be, don’t live your whole life on based on something a young child once told themselves.
So, that being the case, why not have a belief that will serve you. Why not start now and continue to believe that you are confident, you are able to sell yourself, and you absolutely kick ass when speaking publicly. Once you instil this new belief, your unconscious will start and continue to look for points of references and experiences to reinforce your new resourceful belief. The one you have consciously decided to have as an adult.
The great thing about being a human is that we can choose what our state or emotion is at any time. Our emotion is simply determined by what we tell ourselves and how we hold our body. Go on, slump over and frown, go on do it! I can guarantee you do not feel as confident as you do as when you stand up straight with your shoulders back with a big smile on your face. People say ‘fake it until you make it’. You don’t need to fake it, you and only you are in total control of who you allow yourself to be.

So, your number one core need is certainty and you are thinking that the upcoming events are new and unfamiliar and there is nothing certain about them. You are 100% right. There are going to be lots of things that you cannot guarantee certainty of. There is only one constant in your life that you can be 100% certain in. It is YOU! So, each time you have a new and unfamiliar event, know that you are still meeting your need of certainty. You are doing that by being certain in yourself. Certain that you have total control of your state and your beliefs. If you have a belief about yourself you don’t like, simple, take it and burn it, make it into a paper boat and send it down river. Then give yourself the glorious gift of a belief that will serve, support and nurture you today and in the future.

Dannielle Baker
Mindset Specialist
0400 465 646

Dannielle Baker
Dannielle is a leading Mindset Specialist. She is renowned for her ability to discover what is holding people back from achieving success in their lives and breaking through their limitations to achieve amazing results. Dannielle is a qualified Professional Life Coach, Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, and an engaging presenter. She specialises in human behaviour and helping individuals and businesses to create and achieve their goals and dreams. Dannielle is the Founder and Director of ELLEVATE.

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